PPD

The Six Stages of PPD

1. Denial: This must be what new motherhood is like. I’ll be alright. It can’t be postpartum depression, because I’m not mentally ill. I’m sure it will wear off soon. I just need more sleep.
2. Anger: Nobody understands what I’m going through. Why me?! This is supposed to be a time of joy. I don’t deserve this. I don’t want to have to take medication. I don’t want to go to therapy. I shouldn’t have to call a doctor. This is not fair.
3. Bargaining: If I just exercise more and eat better I’ll be fine. If I could just get to the point where the baby sleeps through the night, I’ll be okay. If I get closer to God and pray more, this will surely go away.
4. Depression: I should just leave my family. I’m bringing everyone down. They all would be better off without me. My poor baby doesn’t deserve a mother like this. I’ll never get better so there’s no point in going on.
5. Acceptance: What’s happening to me isn’t normal and I can’t ignore it anymore. It’s not my fault. It is okay for me to talk to a doctor. It’s okay for me to ask for help. I can take medication or go to therapy or do whatever is necessary for my health and that of my family.

When it comes to PPD, I’d have to add another stage. The stage that comes after acceptance, after the treatment, after the time when you start feeling better but aren’t 100%. I call it the post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD stage because even after a year of getting treated and getting better it took me another year just to get over the trauma of what I went through and become comfortable with motherhood.

6. PTSD: I still worry that PPD will return. I’m constantly looking over my shoulder. Every time I feel bad I’m convinced that I’ve gone back there. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of confidence in myself and I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back. I worry I hurt my child in the long-term because of how I was when he was a baby.

It takes a while, but you’ll get past the PTSD too. At that point, finally, you reach complete recovery. You are able to experience the joy of motherhood. You are able to believe that you are truly over PPD. You feel the love that was always there, buried by PPD, for your child, and you trust that you are better and that you are a good mom.

~from http://www.postpartumprogress.com/six-things-the-6-stages-of-postpartum-depression

    What other handy tools a postpartum depression sufferer might want to have at her side. What are the best things to wear, eat, do, drink, and mask your body odor with? I decided to find out, so I turned to the experts: postpartum depression and anxiety survivors, also known as Warrior Moms.

Herewith, a list of the world’s 45 greatest tools for fighting against postpartum depression and anxiety, as offered by the readers of Postpartum Progress:

1. Sunglasses. Designer, preferably.

2. Baseball cap and/or dry shampoo.

3. Sweat pants. Or yoga pants. Or pants with an elastic waistband. ROOMY. PANTS.

4. Actually, get seven pairs of yoga pants so that way you can skip laundry for a whole week.

5. A “piss off” sign to hang on the door.

6. Chocolate in the form of brownies, M&Ms, ice cream, raw cookie dough, chocolate pie, swiss cake rolls … whatever it takes.

7. An empty health food bag to shove your chocolate in when someone’s coming.

8. Pony tail holders.

9. Bright red lipstick, to dazzle, disorient, distract and deceive.

10. Waterproof makeup. Like you’re going to put on makeup …

11. Coffee.

12. Better yet, an espresso IV drip for a continuous source of caffeine to stay awake.

13. Listerine breath strips, for when brushing your teeth is not an option.

14. Extended paternity leave.

15. Microfiber cloth to clean the spattered salt of dried tears off of your eyeglasses.

16. Grey’s Anatomy marathon so it doesn’t seem as strange to sit on the couch all day crying.

17. Comedy.

18. Take-out food for when you just. Cannot. Cook. Another. Meal.

19. Memorizing your credit card number so you can order take-out from the car or wherever you are.

20. A punching bag or pillow for when the rage of postpartum depression is overwhelming.

21. A fake doctor’s note stating no sex or any other form of intimacy for six months.

22. A makeshift bed under your desk at work, a la George Costanza onSeinfeld.

23. Earplugs and blinders to drown out the judgemental comments and disapproving looks from people who don’t understand postpartum depression. Oh, and a spare set of thick skin.

24. Headphones that play the Peanuts teacher sound — “Wa-wah-wa-wah-wah” — to cover up family members’ not-s0-helpful suggestions.

25. A daytimetalk show that makes your life seem not as bad as theirs and/or Netflix documentaries so you can focus on problems too big for you to fix instead of the problems in front of you for a little while.

26. A “canned” auto-reply email for those down days that basically says, “I’ll get back to you.” Maybe.

27. Your favorite music, preferably loud enough to drown out any intrusive thoughts.

28. Exercise.

29. A Starbucks card and a full tank of gas so you can drive from one Starbucks drive-thru to the next while the baby is napping, allowing you to “get out” without actually getting out.

30. A closet to hide in.

31. A hot shower, for the accomplishment of cleanliness and/or crying in.

32. Obnoxiously strong men’s deodorant or body spray for when you just don’t have the energy or motivation to shower. Buy extra.

33. An “emergency” sitter who gets it when you say, “I need four hours free of my kids.”

34. Fuzzy socks and a fuzzy robe.

35. Sleep. And sleep aids, if necessary.

36. A good therapist.

37. Wine by the glass. Or the box.

38. A bar fridge next to the bed. To store the wine. And chocolate.

39. A television mounted on the ceiling so you don’t even have to sit up to watch TV.

40. Massages.

41. People who love you.

42. Connection to the outside world via text, telephone, cellphone, video chat, mommy and me classes or postpartum depression support groups.

43. Kleenex. Lots and lots of Kleenex.

44. A psychiatrist who can see you immediately, not in six weeks.

45. Postpartum Progress, “because no one else seems to get it like you ladies get it.”